Season 4-When God Restored My Confidence
Season 4 of 9
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." — Psalm 34:18
On September 8, 2001, my husband was called home to be with the Lord.
The years that followed became one of the most difficult seasons of my life. I could no longer walk beside the forester who had introduced me to the beauty of the forest. Instead, I faced a different journey — raising our three growing sons while learning to live without my life's companion.
There were days when grief felt heavier than hope. I wanted to return to the forest, but my first responsibility was my children. They needed a mother who would remain strong despite the pain of losing the man who had been our family's guide and protector.
Although my heart was broken, I never lost my faith in God. In fact, my children and I grew even closer to Him. Every challenge became another opportunity to trust His guidance and experience His faithfulness.
Looking back, I realize that God did not remove my grief overnight. Instead, He gently led me forward — one day at a time.
A New Responsibility
Not long after my husband's passing, another unexpected responsibility came. The Sunbytes Foundation for Seedlings, Livelihood and Countryside Development, the organization my husband had helped build, was awarded a project by the DENR involving community organizing and livelihood development in the mountainous barangays of Tanay, Rizal.
Because the organization was a foundation rather than a sole proprietorship, its work had to continue. The Board of Directors believed that someone had to understand both the overall vision and the day-to-day operations of the organization. They entrusted me with the responsibility of becoming its Chief Executive Officer.
At first, I questioned whether I was capable. Then I remembered everything the forest had already taught me. Observe before making decisions. Respect every person you meet. Understand the land before planning. Work with nature, not against it.
Those lessons became my guide as I led the foundation through the projects my husband had begun.
Learning to See Opportunities
Leadership also taught me to see possibilities where others saw problems. One project was delayed because planting season had not yet begun. Instead of waiting, I asked myself, "What meaningful work can people do while waiting for the rains?"
That question led to new livelihood ideas. I learned to look beyond the obvious and discover opportunities hidden in ordinary things. Whether it was helping communities understand the value of seeds or finding additional uses for agricultural crops, I realized that every challenge could become an opportunity to create something useful.
Those experiences reminded me of my years in accountancy. An accountant looks beyond the numbers to understand the whole story. Nature taught me to do the same.
Healing Through Creativity
After completing the last project my husband had started, God quietly opened another door. I learned to make functional and fashionable accessories for both people and pets using beads, thread, and lace.
At first, it seemed like a simple hobby. But it became much more than that. Each stitch reminded me that healing takes time. Each design reminded me that beauty is created one piece at a time.
Customers trusted me with their orders. I accepted only the work I knew I could complete, requested a reasonable down payment, carefully finished every item, and delivered each order on time.
Without realizing it, God was rebuilding my confidence through ordinary acts of faithfulness. Not through great achievements. But through small acts of excellence.
Beauty from Brokenness
Looking back today, I understand that God rarely restored my confidence all at once. He restored it...
One responsibility at a time.
One project at a time.
One customer at a time.
One prayer at a time.
One day at a time.
The forest had taught me patience. My profession had taught me discipline. My family had taught me love. And grief taught me to depend completely on God.
Today, whenever I write for The CPA Herbalist, I remember that every season of my life has had a purpose. The lessons I learned as an accountant, the years I spent walking beside a forester, the communities I came to know, and the quiet moments of rebuilding after loss have all become part of the story I now share.
If my journey encourages even one person who is facing loss, uncertainty, or a new beginning, then every difficult season has been worthwhile.
Because I have learned that God can create beauty from brokenness — and hope from the smallest new beginning.
Author's Notes
I am a retired Certified Public Accountant from the Philippines and a lifelong student of herbal medicine. I am not a licensed physician, pharmacist, or herbal medicine practitioner.
The information shared on this website is based on my personal experiences, continuous learning, and research, and is intended for educational purposes only. It should not be considered medical advice or a substitute for professional healthcare.
I also encourage readers to respect Philippine environmental laws, including regulations of the Department of Environment and Natural Resources (DENR), when foraging or cultivating plants.